They do not specialize in treating emotional problems or psychological issues. Their primary role is to motivate you, inspire confidence, and suggest methods that will bring you closer to accomplishing your goals and realizing your dreams. Life is sometimes very chaotic and busy. It’s hard to prioritize and make a plan for yourself.

While a life coach can be an expensive professional to hire, they can truly help a person who is having trouble achieving what they want in their daily life. When choosing a life coach it is important that you choose a life coach who will listen to you and help you go after the things you want to achieve or want, not what they think you should achieve or want. If a life coach is trying to pressure you to go after things you don’t want, it will only make your life more stressful and put you further from your goals. A good life coach also needs to be someone you respect and think is knowledgeable and intelligent. If you don’t respect them, don’t find them wise, or don’t find them compatible with your values, then you won’t take their life coaching seriously.

When you find a good life coach, the results are worth it. Simply talking to a neutral person can help you identify harmful procrastination patterns or other reasons why you are unable to achieve your goals. After talking to your life coach, you can feel better, much like a visit to the spa, or hairdresser. However, unlike a visit to the hairdresser, where you have to return again and again, life coaching lessons can last forever, even after only going for a few sessions. You can take the methods and idea from your life coach and use them for the rest of your life. A good life coach will work to make you your own permanent life coach.

Is attraction a matter of chemistry?

Maybe. According to scientists, the attraction between animals of the opposite sex is all about chemicals called pheromones. The effect of pheromones in behavior of insects is the most studied to date. It has been observed, at least in some experiments, that pheromones are responsible for communication among same species and colony of ants. The horrible odor released by skunks to ward off enemies is said to be a kind of pheromone. Some species of apes rub pheromone-containing urine on the feet of potential mates to attract them. Some scientists believe that animals (usually the females) such as insects and mammals send out these chemical signals to tell the male of their species that their genes are different from theirs. This gene diversity is important in producing offspring with better chances of survival. The perfume industry has capitalized on pheromones as a means to increase one’s sexual attractiveness to the opposite sex. Animals such as the whale and the musk deer were hunted down for these chemicals.

Lately, scientists are looking into the existence of human pheromones and its role in mate selection. There are many conflicting views in the realm of biology, chemistry, genetics, and psychology. Most scientists would assert that these do not exist, or if they do, do not play a role in sexual attraction between a man and a woman. But new researches such as that conducted by Swiss researchers from the University of Bern led by Klaus Wedekind are slowly making these scientists rethink their stand. Their experiment involved women sniffing the cotton shirts of different men during their ovulation period. It was found out that women prefer the smell of men’s shirts that were genetically different, but also shared similarities with the women’s genes. This, like in the case of insects and other mammals, was to ensure better and healthier characteristics for their future children. But researchers also cautioned that preference for a male odor is affected by the women’s ovulation period, the food that men eat, perfumes and other scented body products, and the use of contraceptive pills.

Does personality figure in sexual attraction?

Yes, but so does your perception of a potential mate’s personality. According to a research conducted by Klohnen, E.C., & S. Luo in 2003 on interpersonal attraction and personality, a person’s sense of self-security and at least the person’s perception of his/her partner were found to be strong determinants of attraction in hypothetical situations. What does this tell us? We prefer a certain personality type, which attracts you to a person. But aside from the actual personality of the person, which can only be verified through close interaction through time, it is your perception of your potential partner that attracts you to him/her, whether the person of your affection truly has that kind of personality or not. This could probably account for a statement commonly heard from men and women on their failed relationships: “I thought he/she was this kind of person.”

So how does attraction figure in relationships?

You have probably heard that attraction is a prelude, or a factor towards a relationship. Most probably, at least in the beginning; but attraction alone cannot make a relationship work. It is that attraction that makes you notice a person from the opposite sex, but once you get to know the person more, attraction is just one consideration. Shared values, dreams, and passions become more significant in long-term relationships.

So should I stop trying to become attractive?

More than trying to become physically attractive, work on all aspects of your health: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. Physical attraction is still a precursor. Remember, biology predisposes us to choose the partner with the healthiest genes. Where your emotions are concerned, just ask this to yourself: would you want to spend time with a person who feels insecure about him/herself? Probably not! There is wisdom in knowing yourself: who you are, your beliefs, values, and dreams. And do not pretend to be someone you are not. Fooling another person by making him/her think that you share the same values and beliefs is only going to cause you both disappointments. When you are healthy in all aspects, attractiveness becomes a consequence and not an end. As mentioned in the Klohnen and Luo’s research, a person’s sense of self-security matters, perhaps even beyond attraction. But remember: do these things for yourself and not for other people. Only then can you truly harness your attractiveness as a person.

You need to know what makes you tick. What is it that you wanted in life? Here are 10 questions that the personal life coach has for you to answer. I’m sure these will help point you in the right direction.

1. What do I really want?
I know that this question can be considered generic, but for you to get where you want to be, you need to know the answer to this question. It may also sound selfish, but isn’t it your life and you should what you want in it? (oops, you don’t need to answer that one)

2. Should I really change?
This is sort of a loaded question. One would think that if your life is good and you’re happy, you shouldn’t have to, but then again, change is good if it’s in a positive way.

3. What’s the bright side in all of this?
I’m a positive person and I try to find the positive in everyone and everything. Positiveness breeds positiveness and that goes for negativity as well.

4. Am I comfortable with what I’m doing?
There’s always the easy way and the right way when it comes to deciding what goes with which shoes or shirt. It doesn’t take a genius to see yourself as someone unique, or else we’ll all be equally the same in everything we do. Variety brings in very interesting and exciting questions to be experimented.

5. Have I done enough for myself?
There is nothing wrong with doing things for yourself, but you need to be aware of the fact the everything is good in moderation. Doing too much or too little for one self can be a bad thing.

6. Am I happy at where I am today?
It’s an unfair question so let it be an answer! You love being a good and loving mom or dad to your kids, then take it up a notch! Your kids will love you forever. The same goes with everyday life!

7. Am I appealing to the opposite sex?
It’s hard for someone to actually answer that, but if you’ve been able to get dates or even more than that, you must be to some extent. You can always try to improve, change your wardrobe, exercise or even your attitude towards others. Just remember, whatever you change will be for your own benefit.

8. How much could I have?
There’s nothing wrong to want to have more or less of something, it’s just a matter of how much are you willing to work for it.

9. What motivates me?
There are so many things that can make everyone happy, but to choose one of the may be the hardest part. So like in a buffet, try a little of everything.

10. What Really Makes You Tick?
In your life there is something that charges you up, but what is it. Whatever it is you need to recognize it and pursue it, but to think that it’s too hard is to already give up before you even start. Always remember, that self-improvement is not just about the physical or philosophical change you have to undergo, but it’s something that you really want.